I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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