Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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