Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
