how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
