It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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