my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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