after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
