Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i need some magic done to my vagina
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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