i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
