ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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