FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
