you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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