do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
