i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
