Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
