The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
