So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
