I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
