i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
