You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
