Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
