You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
