I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
