hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
