Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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