Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
