He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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