Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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