i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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