OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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