You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My feet surprised me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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