can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Damn victory sex feels great
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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