Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
