dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If that was your dad, he is hot
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
