sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
