my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
