i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
