She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
