Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
