There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
