You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
