My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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