I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How does it feel to date your dad?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
