Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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