You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize