You really coming over, don't trick.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How external is "for external use only"?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
