If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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