I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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