Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
