I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
