Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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