He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
