yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
