he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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