it hurts more in the daytime
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
