Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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